newyorker.com – By Andy Borowitz – PALM BEACH (The Borowitz Report)—After the House select committee investigating January 6th revealed that there was a seven-hour gap in Donald J. Trump’s phone records for that day, the former President said that the hiatus was caused by a marathon of shark documentaries on the Discovery Channel.
“I was flipping around the channels, and suddenly I see the sharks,” he said. “I never miss the sharks.”